Is Naked Shopping Trending?

As a reporter, it’s my job to keep an eye on what’s going on in the world.  You never know where your next story is going to come from, and sometimes, you begin to see connections taking place around the country; emerging trends.  

I am a little bit concerned about what I fear may be a new trend. Nude shopping.  It’s been in the news a lot lately.  Oh, everybody has an excuse.

Really? Then why did you just steal shoes?  Was it your conscience that got ahold of you?  Was there a line of theft you would not cross?

Because if you ask me, you might have gotten away with it if you stole some jockey shorts.  Heck, I bet people would have lined up and bought them for you.

This trend isn’t yet widespread, and let’s hope it doesn’t take off in a big way.  But there was another example of naked shopping in New York.  The Huffington Post reported that a Rubenesque, 49 year old woman went out shopping as usual, except that she was naked. It seemed in the article that she shopped for a good long while, too.  The store manager said, "No one wanted to say much to her. It's not a situation you want to be involved in."

I venture to say, that’s a true statement. 

The woman was taken in for a psychological evaluation, and it turned out she was fine.  She just liked being naked. I suppose it never occurred to her that she made people uncomfortable. 

But check this out.  If no one wanted to talk to the lady in New York, how do you think people felt about the 6’4, 300 pound naked man who walked into a Walmart in Pennsylvania?  Yah.  I bet that was really a situation nobody wanted to be involved with. You know what he stole? Socks. 

Let me ask you, do you feel like your feet are the most vulnerable part of your body? Faced with finding yourself inexplicably naked, with no choice but to steal something to cover yourself up, would you steal socks?

All of the above incidents have occurred since January. Is naked shopping trending?  Geez, I hope not. But if it is, maybe stores should consider stocking fig leafs as a nice accessory.